Harry Potter's Journal of Emotional Breakdown
by Mr. and Mrs. Cullen
Summary: After Goblet Of Fire Harry finds himself back at Hagwarts.Soon he realizes he has become the center of everyone's attention while everyone whispers and points at him. With anger and annoyance Harry Potter finds Professor Trelawney's journal Quite helpfull
1. Bottled Up Emotions

**Bottled Up Emotions****

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**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER IN ANY WAY

**Summary:**After Goblet of Fire Harry starts to realize that he when from celebrity to the most hated kid on earth. One night in his room he writes in his Journal explaining everything in one single poem.

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Harry Potter had come back from dinner very annoyed by the whispers and stares from all the Hagwarts students. Since Ron and Hermione had gotten into another fight, Harry thought he was not up to it and left to the Gryffindor corridors. As his feet moved on the cold marble floor Harry thought about the Journal Professor Trelawney had given them as homework. 

"Well..it is about my dream might as well write something worth reading. Unless i want to get bad marks in my O.W.L'S"

With that in mind he reached the painting of the Fat Lady and told her the password. As he made his way up the stairs to his room he saw Fred and George putting more fliers about wanting people so they can test their candy. Opening the door to his room he sits in his bed and takes out the journal out of the drawer.

He lays down and starts to write as his face shifted from anger to sadness, and from sadness to annoyance. At the end of the last sentence Harry thought that he had made a poem instead of an entry.

And this is what he wrote:

**Bottled Up Emotions**

Perfect life is chosen for me

Since the day I was born

'Till my last day of school

Everyone sees me

Whispers behind me

Of how much they hate me

And whole heartedly despise me

Every adult protects me

Defends me

And avenges for me

Never asking me

If for once I can do it myself

But they are all being ignorant people

Shoving aside every word I say

Death surrounds me

As I fight for my life

Every obstacle getting harder than the last

I am different than everybody else

Surviving every single curse that is placed upon me

Surviving every hit

everything that comes my way

But me and Ron are always together

Hermione as well

A perfect circle that symbolizes our unity

As one person

One soul

One life

Together we will forever strive

Unexpected twists

are always in my life

Who dies

Who comes

Who stays

Who goes

But I'm always there to take the lead

'Cause I'm the only one

That can finish this Job

But I'm growing weary of this stuff

I'm just a teenager

With so many things in top

One day I will finally drop

But inside I know

I need to continue

To do my parent's Job

He looked at his work of art and stared at it as if it was going to bite him some time soon. Harry was confused by the use of his own words and decided that no one was going to see this journal.

"The last thing i need is for Ron to tell me I have become just Hermione"

And so he placed his Journal again safely inside his drawer oblivious to the fact that Herminone was reading his stuff while he slept.

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Author: I know i sucked but this is my first one and well i wrote this poem while i was reading Order of the Phoenix and I just felt so sorry for our young hero. I think if i was at Hagwarts i would have zapped all the people...HAHA!. 


	2. I Will Not Tell Lies

**I will not tell lies**

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**Disclaimer: **I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER IN ANY WAY 

**Summary: **Professor trelawney has given them a Dream Journal where they are supposed to write their dreams. But Harry Potter is using more for his own good than for school purposes. After being Punished by Professor Umbridge Harry goes back to the Gryffindor Common room holding to his bleeding hand tightly and decides that maybe he should write it down.

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Harry sat in the Gryffindor Common room staring at the second blank page from his journal. Sitting in his favorite seat by the fire he wonders why can;t he trust to tell people what's wrong with him. Wondering if he should write once again in that journal he looks at his bleeding hand, each punishment making the engraved words more painful by the day. He glances once again to his journal and decides that maybe for once he should put down his pride and starts to write. 

"Besides...", he says to himself " ...it makes me feel much better after a long night of detention"

Yes it has been a long week, full of detention every night after dinner. He had seem Professor Umbridge's face enough to haunt him for a life time.Every time he found himself writing in that black quill, his palm would burn furiously. This was the punishment she would place to the famous Harry Potter. She would make him write "I WILL NOT TELL LIES" endlessly until it was well formed in his hand.

"I wonder if what she does it's even legal", he said to no one in particular.

As he wrote the last sentences to his entry he looked at it and smiled. This is what he wanted to write all along, and so he wrote this:

**I Will Not Tell lies**

Everyone looks at me

As the good for nothing wizard

That has lost his mind

Fighting...

Between believing in me

Or discarding me as a liar

Pain...

Endless pain...

Piercing my skin

As those five words

Are written...

Once ...

Twice...

Three times

In that G-- forsaken Quill

Black as night it is

Writing with my own blood

Writing in my own flesh

Writing words that I don't deserve

Every evening

In the same desk

With the same Fat Woman

Staring at my face

To see if I wince in pain

"Have you learned your lesson yet?"

My wounded palm

Bleeding says I HAVE LEARNED

While my aching heart

Screams I HAVE NOT LEARNED NOTHING

"I WILL NOT TELL LIES"

have become a tattoo in my life

A reminder

Once again

That I am nothing

But a fifteen year old kid !

Even though this words

Have been printed in my body

I know I have not lied

And I will not rest

Until everyone believes

That their worse night mare is back

And I will be heard !

TRUST ME!

Harry closes the notebook and relaxes in the chair dozing off to sleep. He was tired so tired that the fire made it so comfortable. And as he fell asleep Hermione comes from a dark corner and reads Harry's entry. A smile forms in her face and she closes the journal and places it where it was before she picked it up

"Good Job Harry", she said as she placed a light Kiss on Harry's cheek. Harry smiles in his sleep and Hermione walks away leaving Harry Potter fast asleep in the Gryffindor Common room.


End file.
